52 Tweets I won’t be favouriting

December 20, 2016

Caliban

 

Here are 52 tweets (minus URLs) I collected in a 24 hour period recently. They were chosen for the elitist rationale of a dislike for other people’s obsessions. Many are obviously click-bait. Most display interests which I do not share with the authors or with some target audience

If the tweets have been selected non-randomly through some Twitter Bot, there is something going seriously wrong with the algorithm.  The tweets are listed in the order in which I came across them, rather than in some kind of league table of level of nausea they produced. I have added a few comments which occurred to me and which stopped me getting too dispirited in my self-appointed task. I have retained some idiosyncratic grammar of the original tweets. On a recount, the number came to 53, which seems like a trifling discrepancy probably unconnected with intervention by a foreign government.

What happened when a man pulled a long hair from a pimple

Anything shocking about what a man sees in a photograph of his wife

Anything shocking about what a wife sees in a photograph of her husband

What putting vapor rub in your ear on a cotton bud overnight will do to you

What eating three bananas a day for a month will do to you

What happens next after letting your baby sleep with a very large dog/snake/combine harvester/blue whale

When someone puts socks on their wipers

When someone votes for Trump then discovers something shocking in his grits

When someone works out the manufacturing cost of an iPhone 7

Quiz telling me how dirty my mind really is

 

Picture of a man of eighty who hasn’t showered in sixty years

Picture of a man of sixty who hasn’t showered for eighty years

When a man takes a closer look at his wife doing something and is shocked to see…

When a Russian injects his semen into an egg (doesn’t say what kind) with shocking results

What Princess Diana might have looked like today

What any former celeb looks like today

How buying 100,000 twitter followers will change my life

What doctors revealed about strange marks on a son coming home after a party

Insane nail hacks

Twenty awesome things you would never believe happen without photographic evidence

Nest of vipers

Twenty awesome things you would never believe happen even with photographic evidence

What happens when you rub stuff on to your face\anywhere else

Quickest and heartiest way to get rid of bad breath\bad neighbors\bad thoughts

Ways to cool down my burning tongue\burning anywhere

What amazing thing happens when you press your forefinger for sixty seconds

See what happened to a painful bubble on her skin which continued to grow

The best and easy way to get rid of blackheads

Eight craziest things to come out of the human body

Fatal Selfies taken just before death that will give me goose bumps

 

Things to do to my penis so I won’t need Viagra

The something miraculous which happens if you put an onion in your ear over night

What you shouldn’t let grow out of your nose

Perfect response on Facebook to rude woman calling you a “dirty biker”

Instagram star with 70 inch booty shares video to silence haters who cry photoshop (took a while to translate, but still no thanks)

Baking power has miraculous powers to cure diseases, it even whitens teeth

The simplest way to remove blackhead and get a glowing face

After losing forty five pounds this guy played the most epic prank on his parents. (Did he crawl in the cat flap with a sub machine gun?)

Book Review WET DADDY

Girl proves that big boobs are useful

Winter of discontent

Bizarre photos that will make you say WTF

How to Get Rid of Cysts without Surgery with these Simple Tricks. Goodbye Cyst

Man Wants To Be Buried Like A Pharaoh. But His Wife Has …

This Is What Those Weird White Dots On Your Face Mean

Men Can Have Superpowers Right Away. Amazing Ways To Become Extraordinary (next tweet about women?)

If You Put A Clothespin On Your Earlobe For 5 Seconds, This Is The Incredible Effect

It’s Very Simple! Learn To Pop A Pimple Without Leaving A Scar

People Come From All Over The World To Cuddle 500 Kitties At This Cat Sanctuary

Disgusting Medical Treatments That Could Save Your Life

Get Rid Of Inhalers! This Miraculous Juice Will Totally Cure Asthma Attacks

“The one thing that could improve the health of all Canadians”, see Dr. Danielle Martin’s fine new book.

 

Dirtiest Parts Of Our Body. Mouth May Be One Of The Grossest Thing Of Our Body

Velvet drawstring shorts. Use code TIGER for 15% OFF Order now

Nigel Slater’s chipolata and cranberry batter pudding recipe

 

For the serious-minded media studies student

 

There is a promising research topic here. Talk with your tutors about Research design, qualitative research methods, saturation of constructs, research questions.


What is Twitter’s New Business Model?

October 19, 2015

Major changes are announced by Twitter. The company is cutting back on staff and reorganizing its leadership. But will it find a new Business Model?

One of persistent questions in the business press has been ‘what is Twitter’s business model?’ The company has grown sensationally but always on its potential to make money rather than short-term profit. In that respect it is similar to Amazon. LWD subscribers will find several posts on this topic.

Turnover of senior executives

Over the last few months there has been a rapid turnover of senior executives at Twitter. Its head Dick Costelo departed in July when a Board reshuffle saw its brilliant entrepreneurial co-founder Jack Dorsey return in a transition role as CEO.

This resulted in a sideways move for a Twitter insider Adam Bain, who was considered a candidate to take over from Mr Dorsey who was seen as more of an ideas man with great inspirational and motivational skills.

Then earlier this month, [5 October 2015] Dorsey’s interim position was reclassified as a permanent one as CEO. This left unresolved a possible clash of interests with his involvement with Square, a fast growing mobile payments company in which he still retains executive responsibilities. As the new CEO, Mr Dorsey acted swiftly and announced major staff reductions at Twitter in a major restructuring plan.

Here comes Omid

One week after his appointment, Mr Dorsey also announced the arrival of Mr Omid Kordestani, an influential figure at Google whose reinvention of its corporate self as Alphabet may have contributed to Kordestani’s move to new challenges at Twitter.

Outsiders considered that further moves are required to give the company stability and coherent leadership. The official role of Mr Kordestani is as executive chairman. It remains to be seen how the leadership roles at Twitter will play out, and how the Company will redefine its business model.


The $39 dilemma: should I start tweeting by buying a few thousand followers?

June 23, 2015

Twitter teems with offers through which you can buy followers by the thousand.  This seems the social media equivalent of the sub-prime financing of mortgages  

A few months ago I started tweeting more regularly. This relatively harmless occupation was rewarded as I connected with a small number of discriminating tweeters who followed me, and I them. Tit-for-tat following was part of social media practice.  It also explains how ‘like attracts like’.  My followers and following grew steadily month by month. The scale was still manageable.

Read the rest of this entry »


“Not today, not tomorrow and probably not anytime soon.” The tragedy of Charleston

June 19, 2015

 A foreign journalist captured the view that legal steps to deal with gun violence in America were only a remote possibility.

BBC journalist Anthony Zurcher wrote an article in the wake of the Charleston massacre this week [17th June, 2015] He outlined the events involved before a young man perpetrating a race-hate crime with the hand gun he obtained as a 21st birthday present, a few months earlier.

As Kurcher put it

“At some point, we as a country will have to reckon with the fact that this type of mass violence does not happen in other advanced countries,” Mr Obama said on Thursday morning.

He continued: “I say that recognising the politics in this town forecloses a lot of those avenues right now. But it would be wrong for us not to acknowledge it. And at some point it’s going to be important for the American people to come to grips with it, and for us to be able to shift how we think about the issue of gun violence collectively.”

At some point – as in not today, not tomorrow and probably not anytime soon.

The outcry of pain and anger was none the less poignant for being over-familiar.

Deeply held and contrary belief systems were expressed with little evidence of willingness to understand contrary beliefs and fears. Clint Eastwood’s tweet was retweeted over a hundred times.Another tweeter expounded the dangers of churches being declared firearm- free zones.

Glenn Reynolds, a law professor with nearly 400,000 tweets to his name was cited by Kurcher as commenting that the President could always try being honest for a change.

The American Dream 

Around the world,  the American dream is increasingly being scrutinized with a mix of puzzlement and despair I have little to add to what I wrote briefly about the Sandy Hook school massacre last year. 

Tweeting 140 characters is as inadequate as writing another blogpost or even another book on leadership.


The Twitter Manifesto

April 23, 2015

ManifestoGood morning and welcome to the launch of the Twitter Manifesto. I speak on behalf of our great spiritual leader Stephen who is fasting for forty days as a gesture of his humility

He has trusted groundlings such as myself to capture his will (if not his incomparable wit) in presenting our Manifesto to the world.

Today is a further step forward to millions of tweeters who until now have no representation in any Parliament outside the twittersphere. Our pledge is to work towards a referendum for an independent Twittersphere.

The digital click

We seek a poll  based on a simple digital yes or no click, on the question:

Should The Twittersphere be granted complete political and economic independence from any outside influences?

Our Manifesto outlines the overwhelming case for a yes vote, and the steps we, The Twitter Nationalist Party, intend to take, to secure such an outcome

Our triumphal journey

First, I would like to indicate the enormous strides taken by twitter as the dominant global communication movement over the last ten years. Since our inception in 2006 by founding fathers Jack Dorsey, Evan Williams, Biz Stone and Noah Glass we have gained worldwide popularity.

The ecstatic formation

The conception took in a pronged day of ecstatic frenzy held by board members of the podcasting company Odeo. Within months, the enlightened ones had formed Obvious Corporation and acquired Odeo, together with its assets.

By 2012 our 100 million users were posting 340 million tweets every day. EVERY DAY. Now, at the start of 2015, we are proud to report that number has grown to an incredible 500 million users, over half of whom are dedicated and serial tweeters.

From Larry to Twitter Bird

In that year, we unveiled the replacement to the beloved Larry the Bird with an updated icon we have called “Twitter Bird” .

Our triumph over naysayers

In 2014 we triumphed over a cynical world of naysayers who doubted that we had a business model, and launched our glorious Initial Public offering.

Over a tumultuous decade, we  have overcome many setbacks. Vicious and spiteful individuals attempted to abuse our high moral intentions with outbursts of malicious trolling.

Our achievements

Twitter has been used to organize protests, sometimes referred to as “Twitter Revolutions”, which include the Egyptian revolution, (2011) The Arab Spring, (2009–2010) and other outburst of e-activism. Twitter has proved itself as an effective emergency communication system for breaking news. For example, The Boston Police tweeted news of the arrest of the 2013 Boston Marathon Bombing suspect through our services.

Today, Twitter is used in scientific studies to track epidemics and acts to signal natural disasters such as bush fires.

Truly, Twitter is the global political movement of the future, and I commend it to all for your support in achieving our noble goals.

And now for your questions

Thank you. And now for your questions, (in no more than 140 characters, please).


Je Suis Charlie today, Not In My Name tomorrow

January 9, 2015

January 7th 2015 will be remembered as the day in Paris where two gunmen shouting religious slogans killed eight staff members of the satirical publication Charlie Hebdo, as well as two bystanders and police officers. Within hours, Je Suis Charlie, became the slogan in support of the murdered journalists. It spread around the world

Late in the evening, still wrestling with the news of dreadful carnage I turned first to BBC’s Newsnight and later to the views expressed in the Social Media.

Harrowing scenes from Paris dominated the BBS’s Newsnight programme, with a serious discussion of the political issues behind the all-too human pain and anger over the atrocity. Perhaps too narrow a band of participating voices? The programme uneasily admitted to the difficult decision whether it should show the cartoons from Charlie Hebdo that had brought down on it cold-blooded murder of its cartoonists.

The Social media debate

It was the intensity and variety of the Twitter stream that jerked me out of a state of numbness. What are you feeling? What can you share? I forced myself to ask.

Tweets were being generated moment by moment. I began to see my dilemma. I shared the expressions of revulsion being expressed. I marveled at the creation of social cohesion captured in Je suis Charlie. If you are against everything symbolized by the acts of the assassins, surely you must be as utterly committed to supporting the principles symbolized by Charlie Hebdo?

Bill Maher ‏@billmaher Jan 7

Condemning attack is not enuf: unless U strongly endorse the right of anyone to make fun of any religion/prophet, U r not a moderate Muslim

Tudor Rickards ‏@Tudortweet

@billmaher however, the right to make fun of anyone is not of itself something I “strongly support” as a guiding moral principle.

trianglman ‏@trianglman Jan 7 responding to Bill Maher

It’s never appropriate to be a dick. Asking people to not only condone dickishness, but endorse it is ridiculous.

PM ‏@StLFullORacists Jan 7 responding to Bill Maher and trianglman

@trianglman @billmaher Don’t think he’s condoning being a dick (maybe), rather endorsing the right to be a dick w/o getting killed.

Tudor Rickards ‏@Tudortweet responding to trianglman

@StLFullORacists @trianglman @billmaher think you got deeper than most here. Wisdom not correlated with number of followers.

Tudor Rickards ‏@Tudortweet attempting to resolve personal dilemmas

Je suis Charlie. of course, today. Then, later see how Not in my name is stronger for tomorrow.

January 8th 2014

The Trump Card

From America, Donald Trump opined that the journalists would have had a better chance of surviving if there were more legal guns available in France. Although Trump was widely described as moronic, it seems his view also received support from Americans calling for him to stand as President

7-9 January

A further atrocity is linked to the attack. After three days of intense search, two inter-related sieges end in further bloodshed

11 January

World-wide support for Charlie Hebdo in largest demonstration in nation’s history in Paris

14 January

Sympathy and financial support for Charlie Hebdo as first edition of magazine is published after the attack.


With Twitter, at least the abuse is free

October 28, 2014

Twitter disappoints market expectations and its share price slumps. Somewhere in the fantasy world of finance, perhaps the firm’s stance to on-line abuse is being factored in

This week [28th October, 2014] Twitter shares slumped as promise continued to outpace financial performance. Dick Costolo, Twitter’s chief executive remained upbeat.

The weirdo tweeters

I wondered what effect increased levels of personal abuse in the tweets from weirdo tweeters might be having.

The poisoning of online debate

The thought occurred to me after reading Twitter and the poisoning of online debate by the BBC Technology Correspondent Rory Cellan-Jones.

For anyone who believed the internet and social media would foster a new era of free expression and open debate, this is a depressing time. It seems no area of discussion is free from mindless and often vicious exchanges between people who have different opinions.

And there is wider concern about the future of online debate. Where now are the places that reasonable people can go to find discussion that does not quickly descend into abuse and flame wars?

For a long while, Twitter was different, a place where people were who they said they were and were aware that a tweet was a public statement for which you could be called to account. Now though, a rash of spam and so-called sockpuppet accounts have started to poison this well too.

When Cellan-Jones asked twitter to respond to criticisms they replied:

“Our rules are designed to allow our users to create and share this wide variety content in an environment that is safe and secure for our users. When content is reported to us that violates our rules, which include a ban on targeted abuse, we suspend those accounts. We evaluate and refine our policies based on input from users, while working with outside organizations to ensure that we have industry best practices in place.”

There is no such thing as a free tweet

A second thought. As economists might put it, there is no such thing as a free tweet. By which I mean even the innovators who gave us Twitter still operate a business model that has to satisfy the expectations of the all-powerful gods of the market place.

The Dilemma

The dilemma for corporate twitter is how to preserve its brand image of an altruistic, neo-capitalist cuddly big brother to its zillions of users at the same time as placating the gods of the market place.