Mike Ashley to run for leader of the Conservative party

June 8, 2016

shirtless-newcastle-fan.jpg

It is rumoured that self-made billionaire Mike Ashley is to run as leader of the Conservative party. The plan was put in place after secret meetings with Donald Trump, Lord Alan Sugar and Simon Cowell earlier this year

Mr Ashley’s chances of becoming leader of the Conservative party was rated as “a good bet at 1000-1” a figure now famous for the odds available at the start of the season for Leicester City Football Club winning the league. Now, after his effortless intellectual bettering of the Commons Select Committee this week [7th June, 2016] the odds are likely to drop even further.

Getting a safe seat

He is, at present, ineligible to stand, but  a safe seat in Parliament has been identified from a short-list of current MPs who are in danger of being deselected, declared insane, or imprisoned for various criminal offences.

The Press Magnet

Sociologist Tony Scrivener of Urmston University says that Mr Ashley has the characteristics needed to get to the top in politics.

“He has a track record of success in business. He is seen as not a member of the ruling elite. He is a ‘press magnet’, a larger than life charismatic personality, not afraid to take on the establishment. He will build on what he will call his triumph over parliamentary attempts to lock him in Big Ben for contempt.

His physical bulk, and his macho image also work for him, often appearing in the style of President Putin, stripped to the waist surrounded by adoring fans at Newcastle, the club he owns.”

Abolitionist firebrand

He intends to bring in advisors to help in his plans, which include the abolition of the Scottish Parliament and the Welsh and Northern Irish assemblies, as ‘wastes of time and space’, the creation of five million zero-hours jobs, and winning the World Cup with the English football team.

The Ashley team

We have not been able to confirm the names of the advisors, but they are believed to include a top BBC football pundit who once worked for Mr Ashley, and possibly the Portuguese media specialist Hose Nourinho, to strengthen his PR department.

The Queen is safe

He intends to preserve the monarchy until after the demise of the Queen, but after her departure he is believed to  favour of an elected head of state who knows a bit about business.

My Pal Donald

He believes he will turn the criticisms about his own business affairs to his advantage. In this, he is being advised by someone he refers to as “my boony pal Donald”.

Other parts on his brilliant vision include the purchase of The Sun from another of his close friends, Rupert Murdoch, and holding mass rallies at Newcastle United Football Club. During each of these,  he will descend in a massive balloon bedecked in the club’s famous Black and White colours. [The balloon that is, not Mr Ashley], who will emerge, shirtless, displaying his Putinsque Six Pack, to the thunderous chords of Local Hero.

Stop Press

I have been unable to confirm [8th June, 2016] that Mr Ashley is about to join the Remain campaign to add his formidable communication skills in a last desperate attempt to win over supporters swayed by the brilliant rhetoric of  Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson, and particularly Michael Gove.

 


Does Simon Cowell lack the X Factor? Seven Questions for Students of Leadership

December 29, 2011

Simon Cowell

Here’s a test which may be fun to try out on your under-graduate business students. Even if the challenge is too easy for discerning subscribers to Leaders We Deserve, you may like to pose it to a family member or friend

At very least it could add to one of those discussions around the TV beginning ‘That Simon Cowell might think he’s smart but…’

A Management Today article

Management Today helped themselves to this piece of marketing from a news agency.

IFF Research, which has sent the following over to us. According to the findings of its SME [Small Medium enterprize] Omnibus, just 5% of small business owners would choose Simon Cowell to be a consultant to their business.

Beard enthusiast Richard Branson raised few eyebrows by topping the list of the most desirable celebrity business consultant, with 34% opting for him – while 30% said they’d prefer the no-nonsense ministrations of professional finger pointer Lord Alan Sugar. Below them came Mary ‘Queen of Shops’ Portas, whose recent attempts to save the high street don’t seem to have garnered much love from business owners (she only got 5% of the vote), and Karren Brady who with another 5% of votes, is clearly getting into her role as Sugar’s sidekick on the Apprentice. Bringing up the rear were Cowell, who obviously doesn’t have the X Factor when it comes to popularity contests, and ‘city superwoman’ Nicola Horlick, with just 1%.

What’s slightly depressing is that just 20% of business owners picked women – even though Brady (for example) became the youngest-ever managing director of a UK plc at the age of just 23, while, having juggled six children and the running of an investment fund, Horlick could certainly show Branson a thing or two when it comes to multi-tasking. Sugar, on the other hand, has managed to build a reputation on crushing the hopes of young business wannabes. Which suggests, as IFF MD Mark Speed points out, that ‘there is more to be done if women are to be on an equal footing with men’.

The Leadership Challenge

The piece got me thinking about why the survey was carried out, and whether the results have much credibility. The best use for it I could think of was a way of encouraging ‘map-testing’ for students. So here’s my undergraduate test based on the news item.

Test the credibility of the survey along the following lines:

[1] What choices do you think were offered to the respondents to the survey?
[2] What proportion of respondents do you think were women?
[3] How might the answer to [2] influence the survey results?
[4] What proportions of respondents might have heard of each of the various candidates evaluated?
[5] How might the answer to [4] influence the survey results?
[6] What might explain Richard Branson’s popularity?
[7] Why might IFF Research have carried out this survey


Wanted: Blogs for Leaders We Deserve

May 27, 2011

Leaders We Deserve announce a new service for subscribers. We will be providing a list of blog topics with an open invitatation for new authors to add to the list. The list becomes open for anyone wishing to write a post on a topic (“Bid”) or propose a topic for someone else to write (“Propose”)

How the bidding and proposing works

This is how the service works. Anyone can ‘bid’ to write a post or ‘propose’ a post for Leaders we deserve by using the comments section below. Proposals for new topics should have a title and brief information to indicate the main idea behind the proposed blog. Bids should outline the ‘header’ to the proposed blog post (the first paragraph which appears in bold). Successful bids will receive guidance from the editorial team at LWD.

Here are some proposals in the pipeline, based on news stories this week [May 21st-May 28th, 2011]:

[1] Oprah Winfrey’s Secret
Oprah bows out from her show as America’s ‘second First Lady’. What was the secret to her phenomenal success?
USA Today story here

[2] Sarah Palin: The Undefeated
Sarah Palin steps up her Presidential campaign with a two hour film depicting her as Joan of Arc. We test the film and the candidate’s leadership style and credentials.
Guardian article here

[3]”The Evil That Men Do…”
Mladic captured and faces war crimes tribunal. Cn the notion of evil be explained the same way as that of charisma or the Hitler paradox?

[4]Simon Cowell shows ‘Presidential Envy’.
What motives successful people to the symbols of power? Simon Cowell wants President Obama’s Limo

[5] Adele named most powerful person in British music: why?

[6] “No divorce please, we’re from Malta”
Church in Malta is ‘confident’ priests will not use pulpit to influence vote on voting day for legalizing divorce
[7] Burberry flourishes through Angela Arhendts’ leadership
Photo from chinadaily.com.cn