Mystic Merv’s New Year Predictions

Mystic Merv is a hermit from the Celtic fringes. He sometimes speaks out ‘from the big chair’, on his mountain fastness. He claims powers of divination in the tradition of a distant ancestor, Mystic Merl, consultant to King Arthur. Merv offers ten leadership predictions for 2007 with news of what will happen to Tony Blair, Google, Gordon of the big fist, Bob Woodward, The Big Green Mac Corporation, and the monster Glaskazep merger.

1 Bye bye Blair. A leader of the Blair tribe will pass over from the Palaces of Westminster, through the cataracts of transition into the land of Amnesia. He will write a book on new leadership, new Labour, and keepy-uppy for the over fifties.

2 Hail to the Chief. And a chief will come down from the North to rule the tribe in disarray at the passing of their leader. The new chief will be called Gordon of the Big Fist

3 A Boy, David by name, will confront Gordon of the big fist towards mid-summer. David is agile and young, but his ranks of supporters will grow in numbers. Gordon will avoid a major battle with David’s troops in 2007

4 Big Green Mac workover. Following advice from culture change experts Senn Delaney, companies work at establishing their greenness. Activists make jokes about the first Green hamburger, code name Solent Lite Green.

5 Woodward shadows Democrat leaders. Merv claims this is an omen for a upsurge in new book-length books applying the famous Bob Woodward WMD of cluster interviewing techniques.

6 Lord Coe hints that Maypole dancing is to be introduced as a sport at the 2012 Olympics.

7 The BBC reverses its decision to relocate functions to Salford, when a Board member discovers he will have to stay overnight with his in-laws in nearby Crumpsell, as an economy measure. A BBC pressure group is said to be pressing for relocation to New Malden instead of Salford.

8 The Glaskazep merger. Top-secret talks proceed for the merger of Glaxo Smith Kline, Astra Zeneca and Pfizer. It is rumoured that the new company is to be named Glaskazep

9 The Google halo slips as the company’s continued growth leads it into increasingly tricky leadership dilemmas in its global alliances.

10 The breakaway alternative Chemical Olympics plan their inaugural event. Their slogan is six conjugated hexagon rings. Competitors work with teams of chemists. There are periodic tables ranking the chemicals used by winning competitors. Columbia, Afghanistan, and Haiti are among the favourites bidding to host the Games.

5 Responses to Mystic Merv’s New Year Predictions

  1. Fred says:

    Happy NY Merv. But what’s New Year for druids?

  2. Tudor says:

    We celebrate the shortest day. That is probably unconnected with why we have the shortest leaders ..

  3. Susan says:

    Thank you for this, a very eclectic selection, let’s see what happens!


  4. Sandie says:

    Hi, this is brilliant! Earlier today I saw a clip of Bush conversing with Rice on ‘Hu is the president of China’ which may people are probably familiar with – it would be interesting to hear more of Merv’s predictions – on Bush, Rice, China, Bill Gates, Branson, Roddick, the Pope, the Beep, and perhaps also on the move from print media to blogs and Web 2.0.
    Merry Christmas to Merv & Co and all brilliant bloggers!

  5. Tudor says:

    Mystic Merv was approached for some festive light relief by the Blogmeister. We shall approach him again ‘by popular demand’. He has been known to hold views on Gates, Branson, Roddick, and the Pope…

    He seems reluctant to make predictions about Condi Rice, in view of her autographed photograph on the wall of his cave, while acknowledging the the tricky situations she has been finding herself in …

    so watch this space.

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